An Entire Season of Shame: The Anna Nicole Show

• Just a spoiled rotten little brat.
• I like reading your recaps more than watching the inane Anna Nicole and her bizarre friends roaming the countryside actually. Who knew people like that actually existed, even the OSBOURNES seem pretty normal compared to Nicole ... but that is only my opinion of course.
• You are quite right about Anna. And all the things she does as well as the way she acts, just sickens a lot of people and that's why we don't watch her show. I just had to write. Lots of people I know talk about her too in our circles of discussion. We all despise Anna.
• Howcum nobody has made fun of "Bobby Trendy's cheapass name? Come on! What a stupid name! Plus, "trendy" is not something an interior designer wants to be. That's like being a lawyer and calling yourself Bobby Greasyambulancechaser. Or being a landscape designer and calling yourself Kenny Deadgrass. And I am still on the fence about whether he's not an actor. The whole thing just looks staged. Nobody is that ridiculous in real life (as Howard correctly pointed out recently on the show). He's a complete idiot! Who in their right mind would hire such a yahoo to not only design rooms, but MAKE FURNITURE? Why's the headboard SQUARE and NINE FEET TALL?? Not to mention the room that Anna wanted looks like a tequila hangover topped off with too much unpalatable Pepto-Bismol. Not to mention he looks fat in that queeny pink t-shirt he wore to "quality check" her shitty bed and tacky pillows.
• Howard Stern. What kind of lawyer gives up his profession to become a houseboy? Obviously, he never plans on working again in the legal field. I guess if ANS ever collects that 88.5 million, he's set for life. He's allowed himself to be seen by millions (though I'm sure I'm overestimating the TV audience) KOWtowing to that COW otherwise known as ANS. Has he given up a private life as well? Does he actually LIVE in Madam Moo's house - following her around so he can pick her up every 15 minutes when she falls (with the assistance of a crane operator, no doubt)? Has ANS taken on the responsibility of seeing to all of life's necessities for Howard - you know, shelter, clothing, food, etc.? Is the hiring of a chef really for Howard's benefit? Maybe he can't eat Doritos 24/7?
• The one I feel really bad for is the son, you know he must get totally picked on in school because of her. Why would anyone do that to their kid? It's just as bad as going on a talk show (Jerry, Ricki, Jenny, Maury) and showing your true colors on national TV. Why would you subject your kids to that kind of . . . what's the word I'm looking for? I'm not sure, I just know it's not a good one.

With the consensus of the viewing audience listed above, the overall majority have voted The Anna Nicole Show into the Hall of Shame. Hopefully it will remain in a dusty corner, because it'll be long forgotten just as Anna Nicole herself will be soon enough.

And that's the real shame of the series. I've seen ANS in other situations and in many appearances, ANS can actually come off as sweet. Without the ton of makeup, she is good-looking. With guidance from interviewers such as Jay Leno (who, as I mentioned before, treats ALL of his guests to easy, "softball questions" to help them give good interviews), she can give funny little interviews. If people didn't force her into clothes too small for her, she would not look "fat." She could be a credible person to base a show around, if she actually put any energy into the program to come off as credible. Instead, it is obvious that she is just lazy and is in it for the money, which is even sadder in a way. Now she is stuck with it as the only way to make money. Certainly, it can be the only logical reason to continue with the series for another season, no matter how it destroys her and those around her.

Moreso, the series destroyed her credibility. It is any wonder that Pierce Marshall gleefully stepped forward a few weeks ago and stated to the press that he was glad the series was happening? He stated that the series was showing the American public ANS as not the sweet, funny, sexy, mother of one that she had tried to portray in court and to the press before this series. While I have little sympathy for the man, I can't fault him for his logic in this assumption.

Looking back over the run of the series, I can say that I'm glad so many of you have been happy with the articles. Saying that, I can also say with certainty that this will be my final article on the topic. I have other projects on the horizons (to the dismal grunts of disappointment from the three fans that sent me hate-mail, I'm sure) and I do not think that there can be anything more I can say on Anna Nicole Smith, her show, or her cronies the next time around.

All I can say is thanks to those who wrote in with encouragement and who made the "job" worth the time and effort. As to the poor soul that ends up reviewing season two of ANS, all I can say is "beware!"

You can e-mail Dale about this column or his other projects at justabob@iglou.com. Be sure to look for his upcoming book, The Urban Legends of Rock and Roll: You Never Can Tell, which will be released in early December. You can click here to pre-order that one and any of Dale's other books.

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