Even Vegas Weddings Mean You’re Married – Denise Luna of ‘Married by America’

No matter what you might think of the show Married by America, it would seem to be a simple enough premise: Five single people are looking to get married to one of 25 other single people who compete against one another for that privilege. Then, if all goes well, they get married. Because, after all, they are single, right?

Apparently, that news never made it to Denise Luna (referred to as “Denise L.” on the show). In fact, she seemed to think that a marriage in Las Vegas didn’t really count as a marriage at all, especially if they never set up a home with a white picket fence. However, as my wife noted when watching the show, “If you’re married, you’re married, you idiot.”

But we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves. Denise was one of five singles “matched up” to Stephen. She and another Denise made it through the round of family and friend questions to be one of the final two competing for America’s vote. Then, while Ms. (or should we say “Mrs.”) Luna was sequestered along with all of the other contestants, it was revealed that she was married and that, once again, Fox background checkers screwed up. Denise and her husband, Alan Hari, are separated – and apparently have been for quite a while. But they were never officially divorced and, even if they had been, the rules of Married by America stipulate that participants must never have been married before.

Denise’s deception came to light when her sister in law called a radio station to tell them about her (apparently she saw through the change in hair color, as earlier photos of Denise show her to be a brunette, not the blonde who we saw on the show). From there, it was history. But all of this went on while Denise was locked away in a hotel room, not allowed to see any outside news.

Meanwhile, others were not being quiet about things. An article in the March 10 New York Post notes that her dear husband told Inside Edition that while he was serving in the Persian Gulf with the Navy in 1995, Denise sent him a “Dear John” letter saying it was over. He says he was devastated but never got a good answer as to what had happened.

On the March 10 show, when husbands- and wives-to-be would get engaged and then meet one another, Fox made a big deal about how they were going to get Denise’s reaction live when all of this was revealed. Yes, leave it to Fox to take a fiasco and turn it around for positive ratings. But even that was not as shameful as Denise herself.

When the results were finally revealed and the other Denise won, the host took pains to note that this was the most lopsided vote of any – three to one in favor of the good Denise over the shameful Denise. Perhaps, he said, it was because Denise Luna had posed for Playboy. She smiled. Or maybe it was because they somehow knew that she wasn’t good wife material as she was already married!

Denise stood there, stunned. She tried to shake it off with a wink and mouthing “no” and the like. But the host kept it up. She had just been slammed in front of a national TV audience, and it’s obvious she had no idea what to do.

Backstage, she was presented with a copy of the marriage license, which Denise pointed out was from Las Vegas. Um… so what? She claimed that she went to Vegas and then woke up married, or some such nonsense. She further said that she never set up a home with the guy – this is where the “white picket fence” comment mentioned above came in – as if that somehow invalidated the legally-binding marriage she was in.

Frankly, it reminded me of a Friends episode in which Phoebe made a comment about how Vegas weddings only count in Vegas, much to the stunned look of her pals. But here it was, happening “for real.”

If we look at her husband’s comments, even her feeble excuse seems to fall apart, as they two have apparently been married for at least eight years, and it was enough of a relationship that she wrote a “Dear John” letter to him (oh, she also used the tried and true, “I love you but I’m not in love with you,” according to him).

It therefore seems only appropriate that Denise Luna take her rightful place in the Reality TV Hall of Shame, alongside others who hid important information that would have disqualified them from a show and then made excuses about it, like Ytossie and Taheed of Temptation Island.

Denise, welcome to the Hall of Shame. But don’t worry – we definitely won’t put a white picket fence around your induction.

David Bloomberg is the Editor of the Reality TV Hall of Shame, and can be reached at rno@pobox.com.

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