Mixed Signals, Lost Morals, and Unsafe Sex in Sin City: Steven & Trishelle from 'Real World Las Vegas'

Let me throw a few names at you. Tami. Ruthie. Flora. Kaya. Stephen. Aneesa. Puck. If you've watched The Real World over the years, you know this isn't a roster of MENSA candidates. No, these are people we've seen do things on television that while often fascinating and very watchable were frequently, well, not very intelligent. Sometimes, they were downright moronoic. But, somehow, getting your jaw wired shut or refusing to put on pants pales in comparison to what we've seen from the two biggest idiots in the Las Vegas cast, Steven and Trishelle.

If you watched the show at all, I probably don't need to tell you about them. Trishelle showed up playing the sweet, innocent girl who thought her Daddy was just so MEAN because he was embarrassed about the idea of his little girl being shown in a three-way in a hot tub. Trishelle, don't pout because Daddy lectured you about not being a ho. That's what Daddies are supposed to do!

Daddies are also supposed to steer their little girls away from guys like Steven, an amoral schmuck who thinks he can get out of any mess by blaming it on alcohol and flashing his boyish, innocent, and incredibly phony smile. It's the kind of transparent nice-guy act only the most idiotic and clueless of women could fall for. Steven, meet Trishelle.

Sure enough, these two together spelled trouble. We watched them hook up for most of the season. But what we didn't know at first was that they never once used any kind of birth control. Not once in what seemed like 5,000 inebriated, post-Rain, 5 AM boink sessions. I mean, how stupid are these people?

That's not a rhetorical question. I'm going to answer it: They are the stupidest people I have ever seen on The Real World. And that's saying something. Let me make it clear: he never put on a condom, she never popped a birth control pill. Not once. Just do the math. Neither of them wants AIDS, neither of them wants kids. She's fully aware of his promiscuity; he's fully aware that she menstruates. It seems simple to you and me. But no condom. Never. And they can't even make the excuse that they had no condoms on hand. That's because MTV provides condoms in its Real World houses. All Steven and Trishelle had to do was walk down the hall and reach in a jar. We know this because MTV cut away from one of the hookups to a shot of that jar. It even looked like there was a selection of different condom choices inside that jar, so even brand loyalty would not be a valid excuse for their negligence.

Next thing you know, Trishelle's two weeks late on her period, but she's not concerned - oh, no - because she "knows her body" and she's sure she'd realize if something was "wrong." Not protecting yourself when you don't want to become pregnant is "wrong". Thinking your uterus will be so kind as to inform you in writing when it contains a developing embryo is "wrong." Pretending none of this is a big deal is very, very "wrong."

Steven's response was equally boneheaded. He welcomed the possibility of becoming a father because it might give him a purpose in life. Hey, Steven, get a hobby. Find a new career path. Get a Master's Degree. If you need other suggestions to give your life meaning, call me. DO NOT REPRODUCE!

It's hard to tell exactly how long Trishelle dragged her feet on taking the pregnancy test, because MTV stretched the storyline over several episodes. But "too long" would clearly not be an inaccurate answer. In fairness to Steven, he did show his first sign of maturity ever by finally buying Trishelle the test. When the test came back negative, both Steven and Trishelle breathed a sigh of relief. She realized she was right; she did know her body after all. And I guess Steven realized he was perfectly content to go on living a life without meaning or purpose. Hooray, a happy ending.

In all fairness, this wasn't the first Real World pregnancy scare - or even the worst. Way back in Season 2 in Los Angeles, Tami became pregnant through unprotected sex with an unspecified man (who may or may not have been her "Studs" date). It should also be pointed out that at the time, Tami worked at an AIDS clinic, which not only made condoms readily available to its staff and clients but also, you would assume, educated her as to the dangers of unsafe sex. You could say the only difference between Las Vegas' Steven and Trishelle and L.A.'s Tami is that they were stupid and lucky; she was stupid and unlucky. After learning she was pregnant, Tami allowed the MTV cameras to follow her through the abortion process. At the very least, she somewhat atoned for her carelessness by demonstrating to the show's viewers the consequences of an unwanted pregnancy and the emotional anguish involved in having an abortion.

I hate to play the "role model" card here. After all, anyone who looks to The Real World for guidance on how to behave hopefully wised up around when Kameelah from the Boston cast threatened to lay Elka out in front of a room full of six-year-olds. And maybe it's a little judgmental to call people stupid, even when they are complete idiots. But when you have a platform to spread information to MTV's mostly young audience, it's important to use it properly and not set a bad example that could give viewers false impressions about the need to use condoms. Why? That's what intelligent human beings are supposed to do!

Over the years, The Real World has sent mixed messages about safe sex. Hopefully, after watching Tami, a few viewers wised up and started using protection so they wouldn't have to go through what she did. Anyone watching Steven and Trishelle might get the opposite message. These two nimrods made it seem like you could hook up again and again without any protection at all, and you'd probably be fine. We should be grateful that despite all their carelessness, Trishelle didn't get pregnant, for their sake and the sake of the potential child. But we can't ignore the flipside of all of this, which is that this story has a very unfortunate moral about the importance of safe sex. And when you think about it, that may be the most shameful thing of all.

Besides the pregnancy scare, Steven has played puppeteer with Trishelle in ways that can only be described as mean. Trishelle allowed herself to be blinded by Steven's half-answers and circle talk, instead of just reading the writing on the wall. Steven has blamed alcohol, a love of sex, damage from his ex-wfe, the shape of various clouds, etc. for his inability to tell Trishelle that his feelings for her don't stretch beyond the bedroom. Girls. Please don't give it up to somebody who can't commit anything more than one body part to you. If he says he loves you, and acts like he doesn't, he doesn't. Trishelle grasped at every sidelong glance at a bottle of Skyy Blue as a sign that Steven really does love her. Sickening.

More mature behavior was expected from a man who has been divorced already and a girl who has admittedly been in a string of bad relationships. Instead, we got aberrance and desperation. For this, you are shameful, and you are in the Reality TV Hall of Shame.

Jerry Mahoney doesn't like to put anyone on shout. Just wear your jimmy hat, kids. You can write him at gimmemyprops@yahoo.com. Sting7 can be reached at stingseven@yahoo.com.

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