Stirring Up His Own Eviction: Big Brother 9’s Jacob

In only the first two episodes of Big Brother 9, there were already two actions that warranted mention in the Reality TV Hall of Shame. First we had Adam calling special needs kids “retards. But then, as if to say, “Adam wasn’t being stupid enough, so I wanted to overshadow him,” Jacob made one of the dumbest game moves he could make.

But let’s start at the beginning, because in only those first two episodes, we got a bit of an understanding of Jacob, which contributes to his induction into the Reality TV Hall of Shame. When we met Jacob, we immediately learned that he believed only the righteous would prevail. And then, almost as immediately, we found out that he cheated on his longtime girlfriend, Sharon, causing their break-up. Sounds righteous to me!

To make things worse and give us a view of things shortly to come, when he and Sharon were paired up in Big Brother, he couldn’t understand why she would be upset. I mean, what could possibly be wrong with her being forced to team up with the guy who cheated on her and broke her heart, especially given that she would have to sleep with him, compete with him, and her game life would depend on him? She should have been thrilled, right?

Like I said, clueless. But that cluelessness continued and showed up in his “strategy” (I hesitate to even use that word). At the beginning of this season, instead of crowning a Head of Household and having nominations followed by a vote, Jen & Parker were named the “Power Couple” after winning the first competition. In this position, they were the judge, jury, and executioner – whichever couple they wanted gone was evicted.

The logical thing to do would have been to kiss up to the power couple and try to align with them. At the very least, staying out of their way and keeping your head down was another option. After all, Sheila and Adam were causing enough drama that it seemed likely they would be sent packing.

But that’s not what Jacob did. Instead, he decided to stir stuff up in order to “bring enjoyment to this house.” How did he decide to go about this? By badmouthing the people who had the ability to kick him out.

Jacob told Ryan and Adam that the worst people in the house were the Power Couple. He added that he didn’t trust Parker because “he’s in here for the money.” Duh. What else is he supposed to be there for, Jacob’s sparkling personality? Then Jacob continued, calling Parker a “backstabber.” What? He hasn’t had time to backstab anybody – the game just began! He followed up by saying, “Wait ‘til I get HOH, his ass is out.” And then, “Parker is a snake.”

None of this was very bright. In fact, it was incredibly stupid. But it pales in comparison to what Jacob did next. Not content with simply badmouthing Parker to others, he continued talking about him when Parker’s partner, Jen, showed up. He tried to be all clever about it. Instead of flat-out insulting Parker, he claimed he’d “heard” that “Parker is a snake.” Why? Because he seems “gutless… heartless.”

Anybody with a single working brain cell knew that Jen would tell her partner. But Jacob actually believed that when she went inside, she was just going to fix her contact lens. Surprise! Jacob tried to claim that he just wanted to let Jen know what’s going on. Riiiight.

Jacob did manage to stir things up, but he didn’t have an actual plan. When the questions started coming about who was actually saying these things, he didn’t have an answer. He tried pretending he just wanted to be honorable and not rat anybody out, but it was pretty clear that he was lying.

To her credit, Sharon tried to cover for Jacob, talking to Parker the next morning and trying to point him at Ryan. But Jacob had dug a hole so deep, she couldn’t fill it in – and it didn’t help that she was pointing at the one person Jen would believe over anybody else (at that point, anyway).

I’m not really sure what Jacob was “thinking” (another word I use loosely). Maybe Jacob thought he was some kind of master strategist, and that he needed to start stirring stuff up to show he was a real game player. If so, he instead showed he really didn’t know how to play. Sheila & Adam were obviously going to be evicted due to the drama they were causing. But Jacob managed to draw attention away from them and put the target squarely on himself. Frankly, as I noted in Big Brother 9: Why Jacob & Sharon Lost, “it looked to me like he was trying to get evicted! At least, that’s certainly how a person should act if that’s their goal. Jacob wasn’t trying, but the effect was the same.”

Jacob needs to get a clue – in many ways. From what we learned of him in his brief appearance, it appears Jacob doesn’t understand how to behave in real life – cheating on your girlfriend is not “righteous,” and she has every reason to be mad after it happens and then she’s stuck partnering with you. But beyond that, it’s obvious he has no idea how to play the game of Big Brother. The worst part was that he managed to screw over his girlfriend yet again, as she was evicted through no fault of her own.

When we add together all of this, it means Jacob richly deserves his induction into the Reality TV Hall of Shame.

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David Bloomberg is the Editor of the Reality TV Hall of Shame, and can be reached at RNO@pobox.com.

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