Todd TV: Tool TV

Back in the inception of the RealityNewsOnline/Reality TV Hall of Shame Awards, we bandied about the idea of a “Biggest Tool” category. Ultimately, we couldn’t quite make out what we were considering a “tool.” Later, we found ourselves with plenty of examples. Add Todd Santos to that list.

If you are a movie fan, you may have seen EdTV or The Truman Show. ToddTV is in that neighborhood. We basically will follow an average guy around as he lives his life. Here is the kicker: we get to change his life as well. We get to guide him. Hopefully, for his own good.

Now, let’s give the guy a little credit. It’s very hard to imagine complete strangers looking at your life, deciding they don’t like it, and making you quit your job, change your address, and date women you barely know. Todd had to go through this. He just didn’t do it with much grace.

We do know that Todd was very aware of the premise of the show. He knew he was at the behest of viewer submissions. He knew that this would be uncomfortable. So why is he bitching so much? The level of complaining that Todd does has made him utterly unlikable. We have to assume that Todd has some familiarity with reality television. Why do a reality show where your life is overturned if you are so satisfied with it? Why are you here, Todd Santos?

Todd is an overgrown child, he is commitment-phobic (though he will deny this till his last breath). Todd definitely likes to have his way. And, God forbid, if he doesn’t get it, he will whine, pout, throw hissy-fits, glower, and be an absolute bastard to deal with. It is so apparent that the producers found themselves digging deep to find some likeable qualities in Todd to try to make the program compelling. Even resorting to Todd getting semi-misty (it was a nice try, but even “emotional” Todd couldn’t keep the sarcastic smirk off his face) over a dog pound full of eager to please little guys who are, gasp, facing euthanasia! Did Todd really not know that unadopted dogs get euthanized? Maybe he didn’t, Todd’s world doesn’t have room for stuff like knowledge.

Let’s go over Todd’s offenses. Wait, there’s not time for all of them. Let’s just go to the greatest hits. Todd is a songwriter, like a double-digit percentage of Southern California. First he got super-producer Don Was to produce his song, which turned out to be the theme to Todd TV. Ultimately, Todd didn’t feel he got enough time with Was. And bitched. Todd was asked to visit a therapist each week. Todd doesn’t need therapy (heh!). He wasted a willing qualified therapist’s time by pouting for an hour. Nice. Todd was asked to date two women, and the viewing audience would choose one. Guess what? Todd has a girlfriend. Well, he has a “fun buddy.” Surprise. Dating someone is out of the question. So, let’s see, “fun buddy” is not his girlfriend, yet he can’t date someone chosen by the show? Perfectly logical, when you’re Todd.

Todd got a chance to work with Poison front-man Bret Michaels. Bret decided to make him do some grunt work for awhile to keep Todd from feeling so anointed. Of course, Todd bitched. Todd got to choose a band to perform his songs with. Todd chose the band because he liked their musical style. Then he decided they were wrong for him, when they actually performed his precious songs in the style he liked!

Todd had to get new roommates, one of whom is discipline freak (and is admittedly a bit creepy) who made Todd do arduous and unfair tasks like make his bed everyday, exercise, eat breakfast, and practice his guitar. Todd screwed it up. The show even half-jokingly threatened to replace him with another Todd (with two weeks of air left, that was unlikely, and Santos knew it!).

Oh, and this was rich: Todd had the nerve to throw a tantrum over the way he’s been portrayed! There was no doctored tape here, he did what he did, he said what he said. There’s no “portrayal” involved. Todd complained that the show is run by people with their “heads up there asses,” not realizing that he is completely justifying the image that the show is presenting!

It seems to never end, but mercifully it does. The viewing audience will choose whether Todd gets to keep his new life or go back to the old one – to a job where he is not missed, to roommates who revel that the house is cleaner without him, to the “fun buddy” who has come to her senses and stepped off, to the mother that he has treated shabbily. Any chance the audience will reward this behavior? I’d say slim to none.

Todd Santos has to know that complaining and whining is not the way to earn a viewing audience’s favor. Doesn’t he? Forget about the audience, it’s no way to live! For all the charm Todd tries to use to curry favor, it doesn’t mask that he is worse than an overgrown child, he is an overgrown infant. His token efforts to be a sport were begrudging at best, and his sarcastic comments to the audience effectively killed any warm feelings we were mildly inspired to grow.

Todd is a tool. There isn’t enough cheese in Wisconsin to accompany all the whine he served up. It could have been fun, instead it was torture. But, that’s just us. For Todd, he had a golden opportunity to change his life forever. He doesn’t deserve it, and he won’t get it. It’s not a crime to be stupid, but it is occasionally shameful. Welcome to the Hall of Shame. Enjoy your stay.

Post-Finale Addendum: Todd was able to keep his new life with a dubious 78% Yes vote, even after a surly speech that was to convince America to vote for him. Of course, Todd complained about having to do that. The crew was able to get some level of retribution: the week's viewer submissions were all from the crew! One producer's fiancé gave Todd a tongue-lashing he'll never forget, "My fiancé talks more about you than about our wedding, you arrogant bastard!" Todd had to follow a cameraman with a camera, while that camera showed him "typical Todd," and massage another crew member's big corn-encrusted feet, though he couldn't look at them.

It may be wishful thinking, it may be television magic, but if you looked really closely in the pools of Todd's hazel-green eyes, there looked like there was glimmer of humility. Time will tell.

Sting7 has been a respected published writer for 16 years, as a music editor, entertainment critic, columnist, and interviewer. He also has a curious love for pro-wrestling! You can email Stinger at stingseven@yahoo.com.

Be sure to sign up for the RealityNewsOnline/Reality TV Hall of Shame e-mail update so you can stay informed about new articles on these sites! And take a look at the rest of the site. You can find all of the shows in the Hall of Shame listed here, all of the people who have been inducted can be found here, and click here for the Hall of Shame Moments.

For more news about reality TV, be sure to check out RealityNewsOnline and SirLinksALot!