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Hall of Shame Moment: Meredith Phillips of ‘The Bachelorette 2’ – Because All Is NOT Fair in Love and War

by Betsy Wasser -- 03/04/2004
One of the sad truths of reality TV dating shows is that in the end, someone will have their heart broken on national television – it’s inevitable. But Meredith Phillips, the star of The Bachelorette 2, did something that made that heartbreak even worse than it had to be. She said something to runner-up Matthew that has landed her the dubious honor of a Hall of Shame Moment.

Meredith Phillips, leading lady of The Bachelorette 2, deserves a Reality TV Hall of Shame Moment, and I’m going to tell you why. But first, I’m going to tell give you some reasons that have nothing to do with Meredith’s induction here.

Meredith does not belong in the Hall of Shame for choosing Ian over Matthew. Matthew and Ian are both great guys. Meredith herself said that Matthew is a wonderful person, but she fell in love with Ian. Different women love different kinds of men. Matthew could be the most incredible guy in the world, but if he’s not right for her, there’s nothing wrong with that. It is really unfortunate that Matthew was rejected on national TV, but that’s part of the show. Somebody had to lose, and unfortunately, it was him. If Meredith and Ian are in love, I wish them well.

Meredith is also not going into the Hall of Shame because the editing of the show implied that she was going to choose Matthew over Ian. I’ve made no secret of the fact that I dislike the misleading editing that’s used in this show, but I know that it is par for the course in The Bachelor/ette. Meredith didn’t edit the show. She had very little control over how she, the men she dated, and their relationships were portrayed. If the editors chose to show only the best parts of her dates with Matthew and the worst parts of her dates with Ian, that’s not Meredith’s fault. I don’t hold that against her.

Instead, Meredith belongs in the Reality TV Hall of Shame thanks to one incredibly shameful moment. When she and Matthew were on their hometown date in Portland, Matthew asked her how she’d like for their journey to end. Meredith got emotional and said that she would be “honored” if it ended with a ring from him. Matthew was thrilled, certain that the woman he loved would choose him at the final rose ceremony. Then, just a few days later, she rejected him and accepted Ian’s marriage proposal.

That is shameful.

I’m not naïve. I know that contestants on reality TV dating shows can’t be completely honest about how they feel. Since the show ended, Meredith has said in interviews that she knew from fairly early on in the process that Ian was the one. In fact, she has said that she was encouraged to make her feelings for him a little bit less obvious. No doubt Meredith was unable to answer Matthew’s question with an honest, “I’m in love with Ian, so I hope that when the show ends, he proposes to me.” But Meredith’s telling Matthew that she hoped he’d propose to her was more than misleading. It was dishonest. Meredith could have answered his question in a number of ways that would have been honest, but wouldn’t have revealed the entirety of her feelings. She could have told Matthew that she was looking for true love. She could have said that she wanted to get married. She could have told him that she wanted to be happy. But instead, she said specifically that she would be honored if she got a ring from Matthew.

Matthew said on the “After the Final Rose” special that once Meredith said what she did about the ring, he was confident she’d choose him. As he put it, “She left no room for doubt.” So Matthew went about his last few days feeling good. He went to the jewelry store and chose the engagement ring that she told him she’d be honored to accept. Everything was great… until she told him that she was in love with someone else.

Matthew was, understandably, shocked and confused by this turn of events. He went on the “After the Final Rose” special looking for the answer to just one question: Why would Meredith say such a thing to him and not mean it?

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Meredith’s answers were weak and unconvincing. She told him that she gets insecure, too, so she wanted to know where he stood. She also said that she did tell the truth, that she would have been flattered if he had proposed to her. After all, he’s an incredible person; she just happened to fall in love with someone else.

Let’s pick apart those pitiful arguments, shall we?

Meredith wanted to know how Matthew felt about her because she was insecure? I don’t buy it. She has claimed that she knew from early on that Ian was the guy she’d choose. So, frankly, what does she care how Matthew feels about her? Either Meredith was lying when she said she wanted to know how he felt, or she has an ego the size of Portland.

It’s true that Meredith didn’t specifically say, “I hope you propose to me.” She just said that she would be honored if he did, meaning that Matthew is such an amazing person that of course she’d be flattered. That is a load of crap. Matthew didn’t ask her how she would feel if he proposed. He asked her how she wanted her time as The Bachelorette to end. With her answer, she told him what he had hoped to hear: that she felt the same love for him that he felt for her.

Dating shows tend to end with one person getting his or her heart broken. In this case, it was Matthew. A lot of this heartbreak is the natural consequence of going on a show like this. Matthew was dating Meredith and having what he thought was a great time with her, but he never saw her time with Ian, so he never had a full picture. And because the producers of the show want the outcome to be mysterious, she wasn’t able to give him a full disclosure of how she felt about him. And, from the audience’s point of view, what seemed like an obvious choice could just have been manipulative editing.

But you can’t blame what Meredith said on editing or on the fact that she was on a reality TV show. There is no question that she told him that she would be honored if her journey ended with a ring from him. It wasn’t a miscommunication, and Matthew wasn’t just unaware of Meredith’s relationship with Ian. Meredith misled Matthew far more than the necessity of the show called for. She was cruel. And for that Meredith Phillips belongs in the Reality TV Hall of Shame.

Betsy is the Assistant Editor of RealityNewsOnline and can be reached with any comments at betsyw42@hotmail.com.


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